Dear Dairy

Photo purloined from Albany Times-Union.

Photo purloined from Albany Times-Union.

Who writes to a cow? Perhaps when you’re up pasture bedtime and in the mood to share something you herd. Udder nonsense.

Turns out Spellcheck isn’t a perfect editor. Many years ago, I came within a curly hair of turning in a dissertation that contained three references to pubic opinion. Lucky I didn’t muff that one. They would have snatched that degree right out of my hands.

Then there’s my cruise romance, Sea Legs. Even now, it takes all my concentration not to type Seal Legs. I don’t know why I harbor that habit. If there’s an on-off switch, would someone please flipper?

Spellcheck doesn’t care if your characters shutter, or ball their eyes out. Or pour over magazines, peddle their bikes or sleep in a birth. Or if their feet have souls. That’s their yolk to bare.

Nor does it care if they wrap their arms around their girlfriend’s waste. Yeah, that’s sexy. Especially if they’re in the throws of passion.

Those are some of my faves. Please go fourth (or third) in the comment section and share you’re own.

*****

I promised to update my events and books regularly, so here’s what’s new.

In two weeks, I’ll be in Xena Land!!!! The Final Final Xena Convention is at the Burbank Marriott February 20-22, and I’ll be at the Bedazzled table selling books. Please come by and say hello, and feel free to bring from home any books you want signed.

Still working with the graphic artists to get the right cover for my next book, T-Minus Two. Imagine getting the assignment to design a book jacket for “a story about two women competing for a trip to Mars, set entirely in Hawaii.”

My Fall 2015 book, The Touch of a Woman, is now 11,038 words deep. They haven’t had sex yet.

19 Responses to “Dear Dairy”

  1. Got a few comments (pointed questions) from the other DVMs in the practice in the uneditable medical records about the blood clit evident in the cat’s lungs in the X-ray.

  2. I cud not get through this without laughing. Thanks!

  3. I work in a law firm. While going through the files one day. I came across a signed contract that referenced “three shits”, instead of “three shifts”!

  4. An email announcing the winner of a sales competition at work. It boasted about the deeds of the “manger” of the team that had the best sales figures for that quarter. It went on to congratulate him for “manging” his team well. I had the giggles every time I saw him the rest of that day.

  5. I once almost thanked a vendor for sending their moist recent issue of their lubrication. I don’t even drink.

  6. KG, none come to mind at the moment but I do appreciate the laughs you gave me.

  7. Great reminder, KG – not to rely on Spellcheck. I still laugh about the email sent by a colleague at work (sent to everyone as well) – hoping that she hadn’t caused any ‘incontinence’.

  8. Thanks KG. Marilyn and I needed this tonight. Made our evening.

  9. Reblogged this on Romance and Chocolate and commented:
    My example is from Love by the Numbers:
    “She loved her beautiful back hair.” I caught that in the last proof before the book went to press. Take the time to read KG MacGregor’s hilarious examples of exactly what Spellcheck won’t do for you!

  10. “She loved her beautiful back hair.”

    I caught that on the VERY last proof before printing.

    P.S. This blog caused me pain, but it was a good kind of pain!

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